Thursday November 23rd 2017

Dancing with the Stars

By the title of this piece, you’re aware of what I’m getting ready to discuss.

And to be completely honest, I’m not proud. But, for you the reader, I will lay it all out on the line.

I watched, near-faithfully, Dancing with the Stars this season. For whatever reason, my wife and I were watching ABC on a Monday night and it just happened to be the night of the season premiere. It was a random occurrence, I promise, but for whatever reason I was hooked.

I hated myself for enjoying the show. I could take the easy way out of this discussion and blame my wife, use her as the scapegoat, but I’m better than that. I am man enough to admit when I’ve done something as vile as what I did for the last 12 weeks.

Yeah, you read that right. Twelve weeks. And it’s not as simple as whittling this down to 12 measly Monday nights. I wasn’t aware of it when I became hooked, but Dancing with the Stars is in fact a two-night spectacle. Each Monday night, just when I thought my addiction could rest, I would get a rude awakening come Tuesday.

Fortunately, as depressed as I became throughout the season at the fact that I was actually watching – and enjoying – the show, I was able to find some entertainment in the non-dancing stories related to the show.

The biggest non-dancing story related to the show? The Bristol Palin Conspiracy.

You see, the Conspiracy came about because Bristol, who is a horrible dancer, kept advancing week after week. Soon, critics were claiming that Bristol had a fanbase of crazed Tea Partiers and that is the only reason she beat the completion.

The fact of the matter is that Bristol consistently had low scores week in and week out, yet she ended up making it to the final competition. She was easily one of the worst dancers but somehow claimed the bronze.

Anyone who thinks Bristol made it to where she did is blinded by political bias. The fact of the matter is the only reason this “teen activist” was invited to perform in the first place is because of her mother. The only reason she continued to advance was for that very same reason.

If you watched the show you can’t disagree with the notion that Bristol never once looked like she was enjoying herself. While other competitors would be having fun, joking around, dancing in place, Bristol would stand there staring off into space with a blank look on her face.

Plus, if I haven’t said it yet, or if I haven’t emphasized it enough, she was a terrible dancer.

The clincher came last night on the final episode: Bristol revealed her intentions.

“Going out there and winning would be like a big middle finger to all the people out there that hate my mom and hate me.”

If there was any doubt that Bristol was advancing due to political reasons and not her dancing abilities, she cast it away last night. By focusing on giving a “big middle finger” to those who “hate” her and her mom, she showed all her cards. The Conspiracy rang true.

What should she have done? Focused on dancing and being glad to be a part of the competition. But that wasn’t enough for her; she had to make a political point.

The crazy thing about all of this? I’m not very far from many of Sarah Palin’s political views. However, I’m grounded enough to know when something is utterly silly and completely politically fueled. I don’t want to see politics in Dancing with the Stars. I don’t want Bristol competing for her mom.

And with that, I need to take a breather. I’m talking way too much about this whole dancing sensation. I’m done.

I will promise this to you, the reader, though.

I will never talk to you about Skating with the Stars. I swear.

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